I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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