Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
