Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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