apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
did i walk over a car last night?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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