all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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