I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
