We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
