she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
