Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
