In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
