yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
