I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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