Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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