remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
