I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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