Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
