if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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