finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
