she was so not down for the gang bang
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
