Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
