a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
