i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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