dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
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Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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