I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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