I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
