i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
