With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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