im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
