So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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