yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize