erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
