i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
