new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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