Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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