i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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