My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
