The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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