im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Terrible idea I love it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
