sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
