pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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