I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
