Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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