I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
