i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
even my farts smell like vagina
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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