he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
