He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
