You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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