What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
