I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
