I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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