He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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