I just saw a hot homeless man
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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