omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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