When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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