Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
