the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
