If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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