Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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