he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need a beard to bite.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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